This Spring Feels Different

I turned 30 this May.

Though I am not one to put any value on birthdays, I felt something shift. Perhaps this shift is more to due with the world around me, or perhaps, my view on the world around me. 

Ever since I can remember I have always felt like an outsider looking in. To this day I feel like I am standing behind a one way mirror, watching the world unfold before me. I observe people and society with both curiosity and discontentment. 

How did I end up here? Why is the world so far disconnected from the other world I see deep in my soul? 

It is easy to feel like an alien when you are cursed with seeing things exactly as they are. My 30 year old gaze pierces through the illusionary smog of societal propaganda. I can see things I once could not. I can understand what others can't.

As I watch the cars drive by, the people drone on, the music distract, I vow to fight. 

Through the deep, dark woods of this earth I forge onward. Like Snow White escaping the evil queen I run into the darkness of the forrest - only to realize the darkness I once feared is nothing to be scared of. 

I will craft the world I want. This spring feels different. I will fight. 

Rather than let the summer haze subdue me, I will fight. 

The world I know that exists in my soul will exist on this earth. It is my purpose to create it.